Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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