giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
