I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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