you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
