I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
