he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
