Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
