I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize