I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
