im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just gargled with NyQuil
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
