I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
