You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
