My room smells like vodka and shame
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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