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you guys were way drunker than both of me
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
