Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think your dad took our porno
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
