did you get engaged???
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Randomize
