He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
nutella sex= disaster
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
