your thong is hanging out like whoa
Kiss
Puke
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The beer is more important than you right now.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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