Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
People with herpes should wear stickers.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
