there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
