Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
