i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize