SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
My vagina just clenched in fear
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
