Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize