Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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