Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
