the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
