Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize