we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
