Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
