i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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