bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
