spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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