we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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