I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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