D3 body, D1 cock
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
How's work?
Spinning.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Randomize
