Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just forgot I was standing up.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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