The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
