if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
