Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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