Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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