doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize