At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
