I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
