fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
