Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize