No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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