who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
