This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
