There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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