Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
