im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
