I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
