absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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