She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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