ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize