yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
