HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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