Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
