we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
