He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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