just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
