dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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