It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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