bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
