Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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